Taking a Look Back

Yesterday I decided to go back and look at some of my posts.  There were so many things I forgot about; small, mundane, everyday things that I commented on in my blog--what treasures they are.  I keep a journal but somehow this blog goes into more detail about specific situations and topics plus there is the added dimension related to the satisfaction I get from creative writing.

Looking back shows me that last year, 2010, was more than an interesting year; if I had to classify it or give it a theme I would call it the "year of ups & downs".  Between May and early July we kicked up our heels at two weddings, hosted a 50th wedding anniversary and attended four funerals.  We cancelled our holidays in mid July when it became clear that another friend was losing her battle against breast cancer; it was a privilege to help both her and her husband during her final days.  The following week after her death and before her memorial I wrote her obituary, her memorial program (got a job offer to do memorial programs from the printer) and compiled a book of memories for her parents and her husband.  In November, I revisited the memory book and added a number of my personal thoughts and some of the more difficult conversations that we had.  It was cathartic for me, a way to grieve and let go.

A lot of the last part of 2010 and early 2011 was taken up with the projects at my work like starting to help design a new hospital as well as my involvement with the Federation of BC Writers and the creation of their website.  There are a couple of things I probably should have blogged about.  There was the time I spent over the winter holidays going through the last of the boxes we had packed in preparation for moving to Kamloops.  I don't think I kept more than one item out of each box since I reasoned that if I hadn't missed the items for a year I'd be safe getting rid of them.  Doing that felt like a huge weight off my shoulders and it brought with it a sense of closure.  Then another day Bruce got out his nails & hammer and we went around the house putting up every single piece of artwork that had been hanging around.  Since there was so much found room we redecorated our boudoir in a Paris theme even buying a new ironing board cover in a black & white damask.  It's the little things in life that bring satisfaction!

At that same time we also hired a housekeeper.  We had never really "fully" cleaned the house since renovations were completed last spring/fall.  We found our little Filipino whirlwind through a friend; she came in for two six hour days and did a "winter cleaning" so that she would get the house off to a good start and be able to maintain it easier.  There is absolutely nothing better than coming home to a clean house once every two weeks--we all concur that she is one of the best presents we've ever given ourselves!

Hubby and I also made a new friend in the early months of this year.  HCG.  Human Chorionic Gondatropin.  Nonplussed and puzzled?  We were at first but we found out it's a hormone that is produced during pregnancy and is now being used for weight loss.  I have not owned a scale for almost 20 years and during that time refused to even consider anything that came close to the word "diet".  However, we saw a number of our friends try it and have success by keeping off the weight.  Bruce was the first guinea pig and lost 28 lbs in 21 days.  It was my turn next and I lost 25lbs in 30 days.  And.... I lost it in all the places that I wanted to lose it, just like they said I would.  Going down two dress sizes so quickly has been a little disconcerting and it meant that I had to buy new clothes.  It's probably not a painful thing for most women but I'm no shopper.  I'm still having body size clothes "confusion"--when I went to the store to buy clothes everything I picked out was way to big--it felt good in the change room but a little frustrating too.  Maintaining my new weight has not been a problem and later this month I'm looking forward to starting my second session and losing more weight.

Helping to plan dahling daughter's graduation has also been on the agenda these past few months. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.  She is organized, has her dress already, and we've worked out the details of the venue and decor.  Getting on with her "adult" life means moving forward with her step by step plans in learning to cook better by trying out new recipes, using transit, going downtown with friends and doing "adult" things like making reservations and planning events.  I've started reading articles on "empty nesting" and how I need to focus on being proud of her and proud of us as parents for raising such an independent, capable person, instead of the despair and loneliness that an empty bedroom brings....choke, hack, sigh....

So, I think that encapsulates the highlights of what has happened during the past months when I haven't been blogging.  An important step, this looking back but now it's clearly time to move forward.

Salynne
©2011

A New Design

Now that I'm back on blogger.com it's been fun to see some of the advances and changes that they have made in their formats & designs.  It seems appropriate that since I'm getting a new start with my blog there should be a style change as well.  The addition of a photo background, new colours and design is exciting and inspiring to me.  I hope you'll enjoy the changes too!

©Salynne/Susan

The Soup Pot of Life

Sometimes life takes over....
My apologies for not posting more regularly; I got behind in postings and the soup pot of life started filling up. After the pleasure of my in-laws 50th Anniversary the news that my husbands grandmother was palliative was thrown into the mix, followed by the funeral and the family lunch afterwards. A lot of people think that I have an outgoing personality but over the past few years I've found it increasingly challenging to be with new people. Part of it, I'm sure, is that our life tends to be so full that down time with people who I'm close to is treasured. Thankfully, Keeley and I sat with Bruce's Uncle and Aunt whom I do know and love so making conversation was easy; Bruce sat with the other relatives and he had a great time too.

Looking at it from the culinary aspect of my life soup a few really large chunks of tough meat were thrown in next. The week after the funeral I got a disconcerting call from someone in the Ministry of Health telling me that their Patient Care office had a complaint about me and the department I run. Solving the systemic issue took a couple days of working full time which I'm certainly not used too.

At the same time a particular hospital department that has been making leaps and bounds in moving forward with Family Centred Care took a huge step back towards the "medical model". That chunk of meat fell uncontrollably into the pot splashing me right in the face. The next couple of weeks haven then been a mish mash of things. The directive from another part of the Ministry asking me to become involved with a "delicate" family situation was a bit of a surprise, then came the not so good news about a close workmate who is going through a very difficult family situation, concern for my daughter-in-law who was slammed with a whole lot of family bad news, sadness for the two friends who got bad medical news and sorrow when a friends mother and an elderly friend in our congregation died. Throw in a full time 8am-4pm, Monday-Friday project at work that had site wide implications for families that week and it is no wonder there was little time for blogging.

It was crazy busy but it hasn't all been bad. Keeley and I took the long weekend and headed down to Seattle for one day of shopping and two days of pure relaxation. We hit Deception Pass on the way home which is always a place where I can let absolutely everything go.

There was also the wedding of one of girl's who had been best-friends with Brenna. I thought it might be an emotional hurdle watching this last friend of hers get married but it was pleasant; very, very pleasant and all I felt was pure happiness for her, her husband and her family. I really should send a thank you note for their careful planning of the seating. We got to sit at dinner with two old friends who I have a lot in common with and don't get to visit with often. Then to our absolute delight another table mate who arrived late proved to be new acquaintance whom we'd only met a month ago but with whom there was that "instant" click of friendship. Throw in a little bit of dancing, a couple tears shed when the groom started to cry during the speeches and the soup was pretty tasty that evening!

Then 10 days later her brother got married so we attended another lovely wedding which you could call icing on the cake or some additional flavouring to the soup. Our convention followed, we spent a few days in Kamloops which of course always clears my head and thinking. Spending time with my best friend is always balm for my soul. It was during this time that I was able to make some decisions about the future of my current job, my plans for my author website & online business and future goals when it comes to writing. Clarity is always a good and tasty thing.

We had a lovely week of holidays and visit with my husbands parents shortly thereafter and I planned to start blogging again. Then we got news that my congregation friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer in the fall of 2008 was in the hospital with organ failure. Since then I've been either at the hospital or assisting to get things set up in their home. K**** is considered palliative but she has a strong will to live and despite her doctors prognosis she is determined to extend her life.

My summer soup pot is overflowing with experiences, both good and not so good. One thing is for sure, it will certainly be a soup/summer to remember.

Salynne ©2010

My husbands parents will soon be celebrating their 50th anniversary. During a family meeting to discuss plans for their anniversary party we bantered ideas back and forth about what to get them for a gift.

Our first thought was a gift of experience, specifically a trip somewhere or a stay at a bed & breakfast. The idea of an Alaskan cruise came up but that would be a repeat vacation for them plus they don't have passports and don't seem in any way to be inclined to get them. Next we considered a Rocky Mountain Rail Tour which starts in Vancouver and ends in Calgary but then there is the hassle of getting them home. Neither of his parents like flying so we would have to get the round trip train route making the gift about double what our budget is. We finally decided after talking for an hour and getting nowhere to shelve talking or thinking about a gift for a time in the hopes that the ideal "something" would pop up.

We started discussing our relationship with his parents and we all concurred that it was too bad that they weren't Internet connected because it would be so much easier to keep in touch with email. I exclaimed how sad it was that Bruce's mom did not have access to either of our blogs or facebook as a way of knowing what was going on in our lives. I recounted how last fall I had explained to Bruce's mom that I was writing a blog and although she was not at all familiar with the idea she was very interested especially when I explained that it was a great way to keep connected to friends and to share things like writing and poetry. Suddenly Bruce's face lit up and he said he knew what to get his parents for their anniversary! A new Internet able computer and a one year subscription for the Internet.

It's makes perfect sense, at least to us. There is so much of our life that is now related to computers. Like the many grandparents who keep in touch with their children via facebook and email I hope his parents will be ushered in a new type of relationship with their laptop, mp3, Internet-savy granddaughter. Bruce's mom has already taken several computer courses and the world-wide web may still seem a rather scary place for her but I don't think it will be long before she will be comfortable with it. What freedom it will give these two seniors! No longer will they complain that we don't send photos because they'll be able to go to one of our photo storage sites, upload and print any picture of their granddaughter that they want to stick up on their fridge. We'll be able to share poetry and maybe I'll be able to help "Momma" set up her own poetry blog to showcase some of the wonderful things she's written.

The anniversary party is coming up at the end of the month and we're looking into what we have to do to get their gift in place. It's true, the gift is for them, to give them a better connection to our life and to our world, but I have to say that I'm feeling a little guilty and a little selfish in this choice. This gift is for us too. It will mean that we get to see Bruce's parents in a new light, get to know more about their daily lives and what is important to them. We'll simply be getting "more" of them. I absolutely cannot wait to send Bruce's mom one of those "Get to know Your Friends" emails that ask all of those questions: What are you wearing on your feet right now? What three things did you eat last night? or what is your favorite color? The answers to those questions might be mundane but I'm really looking forward to getting to know another side of the mother and father-in-law whom I so dearly love.

Salynne ©2010

Revelations....

Today is a big day--I'm revealing something that I have not done so before and that is why this blog is entitled Revelations; although it is in no way related to anything biblical. My original intent was to use the term Coming out of the Closet but that has too many other connotations as well.

As you know from my blogs I have indicated some things about myself such as the fact that I work at BC Children's Hospital, I had a daughter who died twelve years ago and I am a published author. Since I became involved with the Closet Writers group at C&W and since starting this blog most everything has been done under by pen name, Salynne.

The book that the Batten Disease Association published about my daughter lists my real name as author. Up until recently I have wanted to keep these parts of my life separate and my identity to others, except friends, private. Today when I visited the Facebook Page that I set up for the book I was delighted to see that there were over 200 "friends". I invited them to read Wilde Tide Blog as a way of following what is going on in my life now and I decided that also meant that it was time to introduce you to my published book "Forever Special Friends" and its website.

Forever Special Friends



© Salynne

January - An Experiential Gift for You

My blog today contains a gift for each and every one of you. Please follow the instructions to get the most out of your gift.

1. Read through the full instructions first so that you know what you will need to do. Then go back to the beginning and take action.

2. Get up from the computer and get yourself a drink-and I'm not talking about the alcoholic kind. Since our bodies are made up of 55% to 75% water and 90% of us do not drink enough water on a daily basis I want you to do this as an act of personal care. You might want to put the kettle on and make yourself a cup of herbal tea or get a big refreshing glass of water, perhaps with a slice of lemon (remember black tea & coffee dehydrate); the key is to choose something that is nourishing and refreshing for your body.

3. Sit down at the computer & have a sip or two of your drink.

4. Reposition yourself with your feet on the desk or do whatever you need to do to get into a comfortable relaxing position in front of the computer.

5. Take another sip or two of your drink.

6. Put your mouse on the play button of the video below.

7. Close your eyes (this is the most important part).

8. Hit the left button on your mouse so the music starts to play.

9. Sit back and listen to the music with your eyes closed. If you feel like having another sip of your drink please feel free to do so. Remember to open your eyes though because I won't be liable for anyone who tries to drink hot tea & spills it on themselves because they're crazy enough to try drinking with their eyes closed! After each sip of your refreshment close your eyes again and let yourself be carried away by the music.

10. When the music stops you can decide if you want to hit the play button again and extend your gift one or more times until your drink is done. You might want to watch the video the second time as there are many beautiful photos. If however, the house is quiet you might just linger and sip your tea or water in the silence.

11. Enjoy. Wishing you a few moments of peace and a simpler life.

Salynne ©2009

Blogger Block Rears its Ugly Head

Blogger Block seems to have reared its ugly head; its been one week since I've posted.
Don't get me wrong, its not writers block. I've been writing other things, in fact I've been working on and editing several pieces that I intend to submit for publication. My most intersting project this past week has been my work on a Round Robin created by our writing group. The story has become rather unweildy and so I'm working on a summary of events & character descriptions. Once that is done we will then have to decide how it ends and what we are going to do with it.
I haven't however been inspired by the computer screen. Today on my way home from work I had a brillant flash of something I should write. Of course, since I was in the middle of traffic and couldn't find a pen I didn't make a note of it and then life took over when I got home and now I have absolutely no idea what that fabulous topic was all about.
It will probably come to me at 2am this morning and I will keep a pen & paper beside the bed; then there should be a flurry of blogging over the next few days. At least let's hope that happens....

Salynne ©2009

I'm late, I'm late, For a Very Important Date!

I cannot belive that a week has gone by. It's been filled with a fabulous concert (which I will blog about later this week), a grad party, visitors and not much time for writing. I feel like the little white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland, I'm late, I'm late, For a very important date. No time to "Blog"....

Today I've written a submission about the wedding--its actually a practical piece which discusses a budget idea for creating centerpieces. Again, its a case of writing what you know about! Once I get a response I'll either post it here or post the link to the other site.

Goodbye. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.

Salynne ©2009

The Child Writer

Today I woke up and decided that if I'm going to make a success of this blog I needed to get more organized. First everything came out of a credenza drawer that is filled with most of my "current" writing. The majority of it is reams of loose-leaf handwritten pages and snippets of paper tagged with quotes and random thoughts. Next came the large plastic waterproof container from my storage that holds file folders of unfinished book projects and various journals started but never finished.

My motive in this exploration is two-fold. First there is the desire to recognize my writing heritage and secondly I'm actually hoping that there might be something contained therein that I can post on days when I'm feeling blocked.

Once everything was gathered in one spot and spread out before me the volume of the work I have produced over the years is surprising and encouraging. After weeding through bits and pieces I picked up the small loose-leaf sheet of paper that contains my very first creative writing paragraph. It was written when I was in Grade 4 and I was eight years old. There was no nostalgic feeling of being transported back in time but the adult me sat looking at the somewhat innocent handwriting and the classroom before me where everything occurred. As I looked back at the scene and the little me sitting there, who would've known that little girl was beginning what would become decades of personal pleasure and sustenance for her spirit.

Bloggers Block

It's day four of my new blogging experience and I'm challenged; I'm suffering from some sort of Bloggers block. Questions are running around through my head: Why am I doing this? What will I get out of this anyway? Can I really do this? A lot of it stems from insecurities and it's the voice of a critic from my childhood that is nagging, Why would anyone want to read what you've written?

I guess mine are the fears that writers have experienced for hundreds of years but judging by the number of books and number of blogs on the internet, many thousands have gone before me. One needs to push the insecurities aside, push forward & put your work out there for all to see. The real question should be, am I writing for myself or writing for others? I believe that a person must write for their own benefit and be content in themselves and their craft. If consequentally other people enjoy it, then that is just an additional blessing.

Who Am I?

Some of you may have read my profile, curious to know this person behind Wilde Tide. Who am I? It's a question I ask myself often but there can be no ready reply. Who am I is an eternal evolving question for which there is never a static answer. What was true yesterday is not true today, what is true today will not be true tomorrow.

My husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary last year and when we sat down to plan the event someone asked if we were going to have the same theme as our wedding. The thought abhorred me. Why would I try to capture the essence of that one day in my life when the me who is now is made up of everything that happened in the 9,125 days in between? We chose a theme that represented us at that time and invited all of the people who made up the vivid multi-colored pallet of the twenty-five years we shared together.

Every day of every year of my life has brought change and every day I become someone different. Today, May 3, 2009, I am:

46 years old, a woman, a wife, a lover, a mother, a mother of a teenager, a daughter, an aunt, a daughter-in-law, a bereaved parent, a person of Metis Heritage (both French and Aboriginal) and good German stock (as my father would say), a healthcare professional, an entrepeneur, a writer, an author, a avid reader, an artist, a painter, a photographer, a sketcher, a sculpturer, a Christian, a friend, an antique lover, a home renovator, a decorator, a sexual abuse survivor, a music lover, a dancer (especially when no one is home & the curtains are closed), a Jane Austen fan, a gardener, a weekend chef, a reluctant housekeeper, a lover of all things lavender, a lover of France, a Provence-aholic, etc, etc.

Oh yes and I forgot. I am: a blogger. This role is new to me as of yesteday. April 30, 2009 I was not a blogger, yet the next day I was, and will be for however long this path leads in a direction I want to go.

Looking at my list for today I notice some of the things listed are inherant, others I have chosen to be. Of all of my choices there is one thing that has characterized me for the majority of my life--it is the simple truth that since I was eight years old I am and see myself as a writer. Today and for the days to come this is the one constant side of me that I wish to share with all of you.

SaLynne

The Beginning

I am a writer and I have something to say.
This is The Beginning-my first blog.

Why Wilde Tide, you ask?
It's simple.
Thoughts rush to me like waves that crowd over each other on their dance to the shore;
at times the current goes out on my inner musings and the beach seems empty and bare.
Quite often, like an unstoppable tide that washes over everything in its path, I must work quickly to get what is in my head down on paper.

I want to share with you the waters of my soul, my writing--
the droplets,
the gentle ripples of my calm ocean,
the waves that swell and rise into a crest,
and
the wild powerful breakers pushed by the squalls of life that finally smash into the rocks, only to disappear into foam and nothingness.

Welcome to my ocean.
Welcome to Wilde Tide.