A Woman of a Certain Age

For over a year I have subscribed to a blog, Paris Breakfasts , by photographer & water colour artist Carol Gillot, that caters to my love of both France and New York. She lives in the Big Apple but stalks the streets of Paris three or four times a year; her trips are usually related to food and her love of french macarons. Carol's photography and artwork gives us a glimpse of the everyday, somewhat quirky things that make up the rich culture of the romantic city of lights. Yesterday her posting focused on Older French Women (OFW) or those elegant "Women of a Certain Age". Très bon!

(Photo by Carol Gillot-Paris Breakfasts Blog)

The discussion of older french women reminds me of the comments of Anne Barone in her book (one of my favorite "how to live french" books), Chic & Slim Encore-More About How French Women Dress Chic Stay Slim-and How You Can too. The subheading Women of a Certain Age (page 106) provides an interesting perspective which is very different from our youth obsessed Canadian and American societies. "In France, they don't say a middle-aged woman; they say a "femme d'un certain age," a woman of a certain age. No one need be too certain precisely what that age is. The French are not so youth focused as the Americans......The French are comfortable with obvious signs of age." "The French revere fine old wines....In France, la femme mure, the "ripe" mature woman too is revered." French culture is certainly different in its view of older women and it is clear these women themselves have a certain grace that older North American women do not have.

(photo by Carol Gillot-Paris Breakfasts Blog)

I agree with Anne's further comments that it is perhaps that French women have better role models in this age group than we do; in looking into my history I know this is certainly the case. My grandparents on my father's side were immigrants so my Grandmother was a farm wife with no more than one or two practical cotton dresses in her closet. Spending time on herself was relegated to washing her hair once a week in rain water. My maternal grandmother was Métis and living below the poverty line, so as a single parent, just getting any hand-me-down clothes on the backs of her children was a challenge. She continued to work until she was past sixty-five and during her retirement years she would buy new things for her children & grandchildren but felt that any type of thrift store clothing was good enough for her. Once my mom left home she worked to leave the first nation stigma and poverty behind and "passed for white". From the time she dated my father until after my brother and I were born, photos show she followed in the style footsteps of Jackie Kennedy, Audrey Hepburn & Chanel. I rather doubt though that she did anything to really take care of herself or establish regular beauty routines. Unfortunately she got very sick around the time I was eight or nine so all I really knew was a mother who spent the rest of the majority of her life in a housecoat in a house with the curtains drawn.

During my tween years my mom’s best friend entered into our lives and Angele became my second mom. Her grandmother and mother raised her in what I would consider more of a French or at least European style and she had opportunity to learn from them, especially as they became women of a certain age. Angele was the one who took me to the store to buy perfume for the first time and discussed the idea of having a signature fragrance. She continued helping me in the early years of my marriage by teaching me how to iron properly, how to wash fine china & crystal, and how to spend more money on fewer, but quality clothes. My life then got derailed during the eight years that my daughter was alive; she needed 24 hour care so it was difficult to get more than 4 hours of sleep at night, style had no place in my washable, stretchy pants wardrobe, ironing anything went out the window & there was absolutely no time for anything personal.

When we took our first trip to France in 1999 I learned about the mysterious personal style & elegance that these women seem to come by so naturally and I’ve been working since then to adopt ever more French sensibilities, culture and style. Old habits die hard though, especially eating habits, but I am continually searching to find the originality and chic style that the women in Carol’s photos have. If as the poster above indicates, older French women are forty years old and up, then that means I’m already in this age group and I still have a lot of work to do. Perhaps by the time I’m in my eighties, like Carol’s OFW, cousine second, I’ll have the self-knowledge and acceptance that I see so clearly in her beautiful aged and lined face. For those of us who don't have French mom's as mentors it was very refreshing yesterday to have some guidance and a vision of what my future can hold; above all else it reinforced for me all that I want to pass on to my own daughter.

(Photo by Carol Gillot-Paris Breakfasts Blog)

Thanks to Carol for the use of her photos today!

Salynne ©2010